Thursday, January 17, 2013

Beautiful

A good horse and a good rider are only so in mutual trust. -H.M.E.
Things have been a little hectic this week. My husband has an inspection on going all week and things have just been a little bit crazy. The weather has also cooperated all week (no rain) so I've had plenty of lessons. I even got to ride a bit. (Definitely more on that later!)

But, I learned an important lesson today that I really wanted to share or at least "write down" somewhere so hopefully I won't forget it. You see, I got some troubling news this morning when I opened an email from my Mom. A month or so ago my Mom had a mole removed from the side of her face and she finally got around to telling me that it is cancerous. She is scheduled for another surgery sometime in March. Of course I'm a little concerned but we won't know how serious it could be until after her surgery. My Mom swears it is nothing at all to worry about but we all know how Moms can be sometimes.

After reading my Mom's email I realized that one of the things she is really worried about is how much they might have to take off of her face and what that will look like for her in the future. I started thinking my Mom could literally douse herself in mud, shave her head or do any number of crazy things to herself and she would still be one of the most beautiful people I know. And this is when I had my lightning bolt moment, or the light bulb came on however you want to say it.

Aha!! I GET it now!
All the times my husband has told me how beautiful I am, when I've looked in the mirror and couldn't see it, he was telling me the truth. It's not that I thought he was lying, per se, but I just thought it was one of those things great husbands do, you know what I mean?

You see I was teased horribly back in the day. I was the kid who wore the hand me downs and glasses and had a horrible case of acne (That has lasted most of my life, quite honestly). I didn't know the first thing about how to style my hair or anything and basically for a couple of years my life was miserable. I don't say all this for pity but simply to say that is how it was and because of that I believe I've always had a skewed vision of myself.

But as I was thinking about how truly beautiful my Mom is to me I realized exactly how my husband felt all the times he has told me I'm beautiful and I've shrugged it off. It's the people that love us, those are the opinions that matter. Sure, I'm not beautiful compared to the world's standards but seriously how many people really are (without a little help from photoshop!)?

I guess what this all adds up to is just me learning to be a little kinder to myself, a little less critical and a little more positive. Because I want my Mom to believe me when I say no matter what happens she will still be the most beautiful person I know. She is the real reason I wanted to have kids. I just love my Mom to pieces and we have such an amazingly positive relationship and I can only hope that someday my kids will feel at least close to the same way about me.

I love you Mom! (I know you read my blog :) )

My Amazing Mom

6 comments:

  1. Great post :) I could stand to believe some of that myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think a lot more of us have this issue than we know. Glad you enjoyed the post!

      Delete
  2. Ah moms are the best! Sending prayers and miraculous healing for your mom!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tell your mom that my dad had a melanoma removed from his ear lobe. Although the bottom of the lobe is gone, nobody notices because everyone is listening to what he's saying, not looking at his ear. If your mom carries herself confidently, everyone will treat her the same: her smile or her words will be what people will notice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops. My dad has been gone for seven years, and I'm talking like he's still here. The facts still apply, though.

      Delete