Thursday, June 19, 2014

Off Course

Sometimes life throws something at us that just pushes us right off whatever road we think we're on. Today we got news that my father-in-law passed away. It wasn't entirely unexpected as he had been sick for a while but it was much more sudden than we were prepared for.

This day also happens to be my birthday. It's been a whirlwind of emotions for sure. I was supposed to leave for Midsouth with my trainer this afternoon and was actually at the barn packing when my husband called with the news. To go from sunshine to storm in such an abrupt fashion has left me feeling rattled? confused? Honestly I'm not sure. Still a little numb behind the sadness I guess.

But, in the midst of this I have to stop and just recognize how blessed I am, truly beyond measure. Death and loss have a way of reminding you of all that you have and I have so much. I am so thankful for my faith. Honestly, I don't know how I would face these kinds of things without the peace it brings. I am thankful for my freedom to express my faith just as I am thankful for your freedom to agree or disagree. I am thankful for my husband. We have been through so much together and there were times when I didn't think we'd make it and yet here we are going strong. I don't know where I would be without him. He is my rock and my best friend and the best person I have ever known. I am thankful for my kids. They are wonderful and wonderfully flawed and I can't imagine my life without them and I love them more than I ever thought I could possibly love anyone or anything. I am thankful for my horses and the animals in my life. They are so important to me and I know I am lucky to have them. I am thankful for my amazing friends who jumped in when they found out about Jay's dad. My trainer, who immediately offered to bring Loki down and compete him for me if I couldn't make it and our intern who right away gave him a bath for me and helped us pack. And another friend who offered to keep my kids as long as we needed. In the midst of this sadness there really is so much to be grateful for.

I honestly didn't get to spend much time with Jay's dad. Just enough to realize he was a pretty awesome guy, definitely flawed like the rest of us but a great guy none the less. And there is no doubt that Jay inherited a lot of really great qualities from him. How could I not like someone who helped to create and shape the man that I love? I am thankful for the time we did have and I will always be grateful to him because he gave me one of the best gifts of all.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. ~Psalm 34:18
 He will wipe every tear from their eyes and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. ~Revelations 21:4

12 comments:

  1. I feel like it's really whiplashy, when the good stuff in life ends up layered so closely with the hard stuff, and also like it -- puts one in intimate contact, in a way, with what being human is all about. So sorry for your loss, and so glad you and your family are well-loved and -supported through this time.

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  2. I'm so sorry, Amanda. Death never gets easier but it's most certainly better in a lot of ways when you have faith - I don't know how some people live life without it. Sending virtual hugs and prayers! ♥

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts!

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  4. I hope that you and your husband will be able to find joy in his memory, once the grief and loss have ebbed. Hugs to you and your family.

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  5. So sorry for your family's loss! Keep faith and family close during this time. Hugs!

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  6. So sorry to read this... sending you loving energy and prayers for peace...

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  7. I saw this on facebook and was very sad to see it, and surprised to see your husband at the show! I'm glad you have such great friends and a great family, it was good to see you this weekend.

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  8. Oh my, I am so sorry! Praying for you and your family :-/

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